Love is in the air with Valentine’s Day coming up fast, but that doesn’t mean you should settle for a partner you don’t gel with.
According to research from Tinder, Gen Z take just a few weeks to fall in love (29%), others can take up to a few months to fall in love (37%) and 17% prefer a slowed approach, taking a year or more.
There’s nothing wrong with taking your time, but it’s a good approach to find out more about someone at the start. That way you don’t waste your time if it’s not a good fit.
With that in mind, Tinder has developed 21 questions, in collaboration with couples and relationship therapist Matt Davies, to help singletons build a deeper connection on their path to love with their match this Valentine’s Day, even whilst they are physically apart.
Tinder’s ultimate 21 questions are based on Arthur Aron’s 36 Questions to Fall in Love, but with a Tinder twist to bring them into the modern world of pandemic dating.
Asking these questions should help you see if you could work out with this person – plus it’s designed for video chat to break the ice and have a little fun without the awkwardness.
Here they are:Describe yourself in a tweet. – A good way to help focus on the essentials – what comes to mind first. Tell me the last three emojis you used – Tells you their prime / go-to / ‘home’ emotional states What’s something you just don’t understand the hype about? – Reveals their character type and their attachment style. Are they an independent thinker? Your 2020/go-to meme? – Displays their understanding and attitudes to current events as well as their emotional responsiveness. Are they emotionally receptive and relatable? Who do you reply to first; your mum, friend, co-worker? Reveals who you are most attached to in your life and your inner circle. Work to live or live to work? Shows your matches values and their view of the meaning of life Ultimate snack? – How does your match indulge? Can they enjoy themselves? Are they a foodie or a health freak? Tell me a secret no one else knows…- Challenging openness and ability to be vulnerable. A scary question. How long does your match hesitate? What three words would your closest pal use to describe you? – Gives an objective view of your match from an outsider Soundtrack to your life? – Reveals your match’s music taste. How do they see themselves? What is their character type- tragic, romantic, funny or partying type? If you could do anything in life, knowing that you could not fail, what would you do? – A great question, helps us to get into the space of fantasy and encourages vulnerability Who’s your guilty celeb crush? – Tells us something about the person, their projections and transference. Reveals what they desire: attributes, qualities and looks. What’s the one embarrassing moment that keeps you up at night? – Night time is a time of aloneness, solitude and darkness. This answer will show your matches your innermost feelings. Choose one: TikTok or Netflix – Shows whether your match is an active and engaging person or whether they prefer the sofa and quiet. Are they an introvert or extravert? Craziest thing on your bucket list? – This question opens channels for being human and silly. Also builds tension around the question: Am I fun and original? Early bird or night owl? – This is a lifestyle question and will tell you how your match functions. In what environment do they operate best? Who would play me in a movie? – encourages your match to tell you who you remind them of? This is a safe and fun way to say something about the person indirectly. Biggest covidiot of 2020? – This is a loaded question: Is this person on the same page as you? Talking about societal issues can tell whether you align in your thoughts. If we weren’t in lockdown, what would we be doing RN? – This question brings it back to here and now. References the body, place. Grounding and immediate. Takes the conversation out of cognitive and affective realms into the behavioural. What gives you the ‘ick’? Etc. This shows how your match responds to their gut reaction. What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told to get out of a date? – Opportunity to reveal someone’s true colours. Pose the question, can I trust you? What lies will you tell me?
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