A 23-year-old man has revealed the horror of learning that his fiancée's family has a creepy wedding night 'tradition' in which newlyweds are supposed to 'consummate' their marriage in her parents' bed while everyone listens outside.
Reddit user throwraxcel2 explained that his 23-year-old bride-to-be only recently told him about her family's antiquates 'sex ritual,' and while he still wants to marry her, he doesn't want to go through with it.
'Something weird I've noticed since we got engaged is that my GF's cousins sometimes make jokes about our wedding night,' he noted. 'It's weird for them to joke about it since I'm pretty sure her family is aware we've slept together before since we share a bed at holiday gatherings and vacations.'
Say what? A Reddit user has revealed that his fiancée's family has a traditional wedding night sex ritual that he doesn't want any part of (Stock Image)
Truth: Many commenters insisted that he has to put his foot down and refuse to perform the ritual or he'll be battling his pushy in-laws for the rest of his marriage
The groom said his fiancée has a large, boisterous extended family, and they've always gotten along great 'for the most part' — until she sprung their bizarre tradition on him.
'A few nights ago we were discussing wedding plans and thinking about places to go on our honeymoon (if COVID-19 clears up and we can travel by then),' he explained. 'My GF and I were brainstorming ideas when she tells me that we won't need a bridal suite right away.'
When he asked why, considering they were getting married at a hotel, she told him that she wants to stay at her parents' house on their wedding night. Upon further questioning, she admitted that her family has a 'really old' wedding night tradition.
'The husband and wife go into the master bedroom together and they are supposed to "consummate" the marriage,' he shared. 'The rest of the family are waiting outside the door so they can applaud them and cheer when they come out. Then a piece of the bed sheet is cut off and sewn into a big tapestry my GF's mother owns.
'I think my GF saw I wasn't happy because she quickly told me that we wouldn't have to actually consummate the marriage if I felt uncomfortable and we could just pretend.'
The groom stressed that he doesn't want to have anything to do with the ritual, but he was facing pressure from her family.
Is it that old? A number of Reddit users pointed out that the family's 'tradition' mirrors the bedding ceremonies that used to take place centuries ago
'I absolutely freaked and told her under no circumstances will I be doing that kind of thing in front of her whole family,' he said.
'I think she's also been texting her family about this because I received a text from her mother telling me that I 'don't understand the importance of family' and tradition yet and this kind of tradition has been around longer than I've been alive.'
The man said he loves his partner and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but he didn't know how he should navigate her family's tradition.
Many commenters insisted that he has to put his foot down and refuse to perform the ritual or he'll be battling his pushy in-laws for the rest of his marriage.
'When you hear stories about in-laws causing stress to a marriage, it is almost always about a failure to respect normal boundaries,' one person noted. 'If you go along with this, it will only be the beginning. You can expect an ongoing struggle about boundaries...'
'Coming from a big family that is very involved in each others' lives, I can confirm from experience that if you cave on this they will never stop pushing you to live your life their way,' another agreed. 'Either stand firm or get used to having your traditions dictated to you.'
Eek: Some people found it particularly disturbing that the sex ritual happens in her parents' bed, and a piece of the bed sheet is sewn into a big tapestry owned by his partner's mother
Someone else pointed out that if he 'doesn't put a stop to this now, his future children will be pressured into doing the same thing' — and 'he would be expected to stand outside and listen.'
The family's tradition may seem taboo, but it mirrors the bedding ceremonies that used to take place centuries ago in societies around the world.
Newlyweds — including royals — would be put into their marital beds by family, friends, and members of the community on their wedding night to establish the consummation of marriage.
Some Reddit users couldn't resist cracking jokes at the groom's expense.
'Tell them you'll do it, in return for a dowry of 100 head of cattle, a white stallion and a tract of arable land,' one person commented.
Another asked: 'Where is your girlfriend from, by the way? 1732?'
'This is not the Middle ages and you are not the King of France...perhaps all her family thinks she's still [a] virgin,' someone else joked.