Father Ted is an Irish comedy about 3 parish priests living on Craggy Island – a remote island, off the Irish west coast. The main four characters are Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan), Father Dougal Maguire (Ardal O’Hanlan) and Father Jack Hackett (Frank Kelly) and their housekeeper (who just can’t stop making tea) Mrs. Doyle (Pauline McLynn). Ted was put on the island as a punishment for going on holiday to Las Vegas with money intended for a sick child – of course…”The money was just resting in his account”!
Table of Contents
#1 – Are You Right There, Father Ted?
Season 3 – Episode 1
Ted finally escapes to a new posting at Castlelawn Parochial House, Dublin, with civilised company and frequent jaunts to Paris. Unfortunately a slight misunderstanding over some expenses sends Ted back to his old compadres on the island. After a spot of lad’s housecleaning results in Ted being mistakenly tarred as a racist, Ted holds a celebration of Chinese culture to clear his name (though ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ might not have been an inspired choice of soundtrack). Just when it looks like a happy ending might be in store, a mix-up over some soft furnishings and Nazi memorabilia leaves the Chinese community with a sweet’n’sour taste in the mouth.
The episode was rated from 182 votes.
#2 – A Song for Europe
Season 2 – Episode 5
Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn’t even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score…. nil points.
The episode was rated from 173 votes.
#3 – Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse
Season 3 – Episode 6
A lost bet with Dick Byrne means Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse. On cue, Len arrives with PA Father Jessup, the world’s most sarcastic priest. Elaborate preparations, a camera, a skirting board, a set of watercolours and some psychological warfare on Ted’s part ensure a successful outcome… or do they?
The episode was rated from 144 votes.
#4 – Speed 3
Season 3 – Episode 3
Ted and Dougal turn detective to discover who’s behind the bumper crop of hairy babies on Craggy Island. However when justice is done on the culprit he takes a terrible revenge. Dougal’s moonlighting stint as island milkman is marred by a bomb set to go off if the milk float drops below 4 mph. Does ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ hold the key to his rescue, or would Father Jack’s pet brick come in more useful?
The episode was rated from 160 votes.
#5 – The Mainland
Season 3 – Episode 4
A perfectly routine trip to the mainland results in Dougal almost dying from malnutrition, Mrs Doyle being chucked in the clink, Ted nearly being beaten up by Victor Meldrew, and Father Jack joining Alcoholics Anonymous. A chance encounter with old friends Noel Furlong and the St. Luke’s Youth Group in some spooky caves spells spelaeological trouble for our heroes.
The episode was rated from 141 votes.
#6 – Going to America
Season 3 – Episode 8
Ted performs a genuinely unselfish act, and is rewarded with the offer of a parish in California – his wildest dreams come true. However, parting from his long-time companions at the Parochial House proves tricky. Unless Ted can break the news of his departure tactfully to Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle, he won’t be going to America…
The episode was rated from 116 votes.
#7 – Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest
Season 1 – Episode 6
After an overdose of floor polish, Father Jack finally bites the dust, and Ted and Dougal discover they’ve been left a fortune in his will…providing they allay his fear of being buried alive by spending a night with him in the crypt.
The episode was rated from 193 votes.
#8 – Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading
Season 2 – Episode 8
Ted and co. enter a giving-things-up-for-Lent contest and soon discover that abstinence is easier preached than done. Father Jack sobers up for the first time in years, but Dougal and Ted find their resolve wavering. To strengthen their vows Ted calls in a nun to supervise them. She turns out to be a sadist of the first water, and the results are inevitable.
The episode was rated from 165 votes.
#9 – Tentacles of Doom
Season 2 – Episode 3
The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded to a class 2 relic, and unfortunately this entails three Bishops visiting the island – Father Jack must be housetrained quickly. Only one of the bishops dies – Ted therefore considers this to have been a relatively successful visit.
The episode was rated from 197 votes.
#10 – Flight into Terror
Season 2 – Episode 10
Ted and co. end up being crammed in a plane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a fit of the usual stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes to go around many more priests, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans for the parachutes.
The episode was rated from 146 votes.